A 21st Century Modest Proposal

If SB 1254 passes in the state of Idaho, then students across college campuses in Idaho might look like this

They would have the right to carry guns (concealed weapons) on campus. 

Irresponsible politics can create problems where none exist, as has been noted by Boise State University President, Bob Kustra. 

But will the State Senate listen to sensible Idahoans, over right-wing, Constitutional Fundamentalist Senators like Curt McKenzie?

The bill would endanger not only the ecosystem of higher education but in the short term the lives of Professors as well.

What then is a way to counter a senseless move to ensure the safety of the professoriat  at Institutions of higher learning in Idaho?

Satire of course. 

Biology and Criminal Justice Professor at BSU, Greg Hampikian writes about the issue in a deeply satirical vein.

He argues that if students, who are already always ready to explode when they get less than expected grades, are armed, then ought not Professors to arm themselves? Imagine a situation if instead of a pen or a pencil, they were to be accosted by assault weapons inside their offices.

What if a disgruntled student decides to "shoot" a Professor a lesson in the form of bullets that emanate at a 100 sprays a second? How will the Professor, with reflexes slowed down by ageing (the ratio of age-advantage that students enjoy over the typical Professor is still 1:55) defend himself against the speed of the hypermodern gun?

Also, when we speak of the student body of age range 18-22 on campuses in the nation today, we think of a generation that's benumbed to the art of killings and massacres, having played them on video games from literally an infant stage. A student who whips out a gun and shoots a Professor would most likely be doing that by instinct without thinking through the moral consequences or the fact that it's sinful to kill.

Hampikian's piece, When May I Shoot A Student? echoes the satirical tone of Jonathan Swift, the 18th century Anglo-Irish satirist.

In 1729 Swift wrote A Modest Proposal, a Juvenalian satire, where he proposed that the impoverished Irish can ease their economic troubles by selling their children to rich English aristocrats for food.

Several centuries later, in Boise, a similar modest proposal to allow Professors to own guns has been penned.