The Ethicist

Over the years, I have read the NYT advice column titled "The Ethicist."

It comes out every Sunday and the Ethicist is Randy Cohen who with a quirky admixture of intelligence, practicality and integrity, answers his readers' moral queries.

This week's moral query comes from a gentleman from Massachusetts. The man writes:

I know a woman, an undocumented immigrant, who wishes to get married in order to be able to return to Brazil to see her children (after an absence of nearly seven years). She works at a chain store and seems to be there 60 to 80 hours a week. She sends most of her money home to her children. She is always kind, decent and helpful to others. I’ve known her for three years and believe she would be an exemplary American citizen. She has saved money in order to pay someone to marry her; I believe this would be wrong. If I were to marry her, I’d expect nothing. I live alone, have no girlfriend and think this marriage thing would be the morally correct thing to do. What do you think? 

Here is The Ethicists' response, and it's a layered one to say the least:

Let me open by stating that you seem like a great person. Let me follow that compliment with this irrefutable fact: This is illegal. Don’t do it. You could receive an enormous fine and some jail time, and so could she (the maximum sentence for marriage fraud is five years in prison, a $250,000 penalty and her eventual deportation). I can’t justifiably instruct you to do this, regardless of its moral underpinnings. But let’s say you did do this, against my advice. Would it be ethical?
I don’t know you, and I don’t know this woman; you might be a horrible judge of character, and she might be a con artist. All I can do is take your letter at face value and assume what you’re claiming is accurate. And if it is, my conclusion would be this: If you married this woman, it would be positive for society. It would be transformative for her children, it would eliminate the possibility of her being taken advantage of by someone marrying her for financial gain and it would add a hardworking person to the American populace. I suppose some will argue it would unjustly place her in a position to take a job from a “more deserving” U.S. citizen, but I don’t believe mere citizenship entitles anyone to a job.
The ethical quandary is your entrenched motive. By writing this letter, you are openly defining this marriage as a loveless transaction that falls under the rubric of illegal activity. But something else strikes me about your letter: You seem to respect this woman. You see her as kind, and you see her as good. Have you considered asking her to dinner? Does she seem remotely interested in you as a person? Many long-term relationships begin with a physical attraction that evolves into a state of mutual appreciation; it’s not impossible to imagine that process happening in reverse. If you were to fall authentically in love, any subsequent marriage would not be a sham.
Now, is this suggestion realistic? Perhaps not. In fact, probably not. It’s almost as if I’m trying to persuade you not to steal a loaf of bread by advising you to open a bakery. But what have you got to lose? The worst that could happen is that you have one awkward date while coming to the realization that you’ve tried harder to help this person than perhaps anyone she has ever met.